Commentaries by Cynthia

People say that I am a quiet person. I’ve even been called shy or demure when people first get to know me. However, nothing ignites my outspoken side more than seeing or experiencing unfair treatment.

Injustice straightens my spine, propels me forward and enables me to find my voice. I become more like Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women, passionately defending the underdog with a litany of strongly held convictions, leaving my listeners speechless and looking very stunned.

“Who knew she could talk so much?” they seem to silently ask themselves, “And with such boldness?” I also detect some fearfulness in these people, as though they’ve just witnessed the proverbial quiet person “snapping.” I think they expect to see my face on the 11 o’clock news later that night, after I’ve been arrested for shooting innocent bystanders on the way home.

I have to remind myself that these folks don’t know me well. Friends and family members know that I’m not a violent or aggressive person. If I were to ever react with aggression, it would only be in a self-defense situation where my life or well-being were in jeopardy. Still, these acquaintances are seeing a side of me they’ve never seen before, so I can empathize with their confusion.

In discussing this topic with several of my quieter friends, I learned I am not alone. They, too, have experienced bewildered looks from others when they’ve defended themselves or otherwise expressed a strong opinion. I’ve also learned that they, like I, tried the more gentle approach first, only to be ignored or dismissed. So we increased the volume and added some intensity to our words, and whal-la!, we’re suddenly cracking up.

What is further frustrating to the quiet person is that a loud person who constantly rants can get by with it. Why? Because this is the way he or she regularly reacts. People may not like the other person's behavior, but because it is consistent, people find it normal and non-threatening. (Aaarrrgggghh! Makes me want to scream!)

Assertiveness training is usually recommended for the meek, so that they do not shock the life out of others when they decide to take a stand on an issue. I have a feeling, though, any opposing viewpoint I express, regardless of my tone and phrasing, is going to be met with raised brows. It’s a price I must pay for being known as, “normally so nice.”

As the song by Little Texas goes, “Sometimes you’ve got to make some noise to be heard.” But when you do, my soft-spoken comrade, be prepared for everything that goes along with it. Someone may react as if you’ve suddenly grown two heads or turned into the Incredible Hulk before their very eyes.

To society in general, I say listen closely the first time a quiet person approaches you with a concern. You will ultimately spare us all a lot of stress and confusion.