Commentaries by Cynthia

2007 was supposed to be an ordinary year, but something unusual began happening early last spring.

Late at night as I tried to sleep, something or someone seemed to be calling my name. Mind you, I did not hear an actual voice; it was more like a spiritual or telepathic calling from beyond. "Cynthia...Cynthia...Cynthia..."

(No, I'm not making this up.)

After nearly a week of this unrelenting repetition of my name, I threw back the covers and said, "What? What is that you want from me?"

(No, I was not intoxicated or otherwise inebriated at the time.)

Now, I've heard ministers talk about "the calling" but I always believed this was a somewhat fanciful term to describe one's decision to pursue the ministry. Wrong. Spirit does make its presence known and will not let up until you do whatever it wants you to do.

So I set out on a path. I dug deeply, uncovering certain truths about myself. I broke off an engagement to a wonderful man, primarily because I had felt conflicted about our relationship for some time and was unsure if this was the person God wanted me to marry. I checked out spiritual books from the library and scoured the internet, trying to figure out what was happening to me. Was I dying? Did God want me to do some type of missionary work? Was I going bonkers? (Those of you who have been following this blog probably noticed a change in my postings.) As I began my search, the persistent calling stopped and was replaced with a feeling of peace and protection.

Of course, I've made some blunders since then and have reaped the consequences of those actions, but I've come to the realization that I've been experiencing what is known as a spiritual awakening.

In case anyone is interested, some of the physical and mental symptoms of awakening are listed below. These are based on extensive research and/or personal experience. The only reason I'm putting them out here is because, at some point in your life, you may experience similar symptoms. Depending on your faith, you might call this the emergence of a Christ, Buddha, or Krishna Consciousness, or in New Age or Metaphysical terms, your Higher Self. (Before banging me over the head with your Bibles, please see # 13.)

1. Difficulty sleeping, often waking up every couple of hours.

2. Having dreams that are more vivid or lucid. People from your past or deceased loved-ones may appear in these dreams, giving you encouragement or needed closure.

3. Psychic or telepathic communication. Someone or something seems to be trying to tell you something.

4. Synchronicity - noticing many coincidences in your life, as though you are being led somewhere.

5. Burning sensations in the hands and/or feet.

6. Tingling sensations running up the spine to the crown of your head.

7. An increase in the sensitivity of one or several of your five senses.

8. Pressure in the forehead area when you pray or meditate. You may also see flashes of light or colors during these times.

9. Noticing and appreciating nature more - seeing God's handiwork in everything from a rainbow to a blade of grass.

10. A pleasant sense of "all the pieces falling into place" as if you have fulfilled some deeper purpose in your life.

11. Unexpected feelings of a "peace that passeth all understanding," as though you are being touched by an angel.

12. Noticing "oneness" or the interconnection between people, realizing we all came from the same Source.

13. Lines of distinction between ethnic, cultural, and religious groups evaporate. People are simply and Divinely... people.

14. Old stuff seems to be rising to the surface. Whatever you've swept under the rug in your past demands to be uncovered and resolved.

15. A cup-overflowing feeling of love for humanity, as though your heart is opening up like a flower. This can be a painfully sweet experience.

16. A desire for truth, even if it hurts. Likewise, a STRONG intolerance for dishonesty in self and in others.

17. Animals and small children seem to be drawn to you more than before, as if they can sense something special about you.

18. Sick or grieving people seem to show up and need your counsel or compassion.

19. Your relationships change because you're changing. This can be a bumpy process because people will want you to return to your former self - to the person they once knew, loved, and with whom they felt comfortable.

20. Being true to yourself becomes more important than impressing or pleasing others.

21. You begin to realize that your thoughts have power; thus you begin monitoring them more closely.

22. You begin to realize that whatever you cause another person to feel, you also cause God to feel. The seed of Divinity that is inside you is also inside every other person.

23. You begin to grasp and see the circular patterns in all of life. What goes around must come back around simply because it's part of nature and designed to flow that way.

24. You feel a bursting-forth need to "let your light shine."

25. And finally, you have a desire to go "Home," without drama or harming yourself, I might add.

Many of these symptoms tend to come and go. It is also very difficult to be "in the world but not of the world." You will find many temptations and old thought patterns creeping back in as you embark on any spiritual journey. Be gentle with yourself and reach out for help whenever you need it. However, it will be in your own best interest to steer clear of people who have no respect for your spiritual growth. They will only try to pull your off track for their own personal satisfaction or gain. Lastly, keep in mind that the Kingdom of Heaven doesn't exist somewhere out there - it exists soul-ly within you (per Jesus, by the way).