Commentaries by Cynthia

“In the end, only kindness matters.” singer, Jewel

During the six years that I worked with her at Wachovia, Alma was both my friend and surrogate mother. She listened to me whenever I needed an ear. She advised me whenever I needed direction in my life. And she encouraged me whenever I needed hope.

Alma was one of those dear souls I've come to regard as the salt of the earth kind; a rare and precious breed who is so greatly needed in the world. Sadly, you will not find many people like Alma, especially in today's competitive workforce.

She attended church regularly and lived out her faith in her daily life, a highly principled person, made all the more so because she lacked a self-righteous demeanor. Whenever you were in her presence, you felt accepted and cared for, never judged. If she gossiped, I never heard it. Nor did I hear her belittle anyone. Her very pleasant sense of humor was often directed at herself or at life in general, not at others. And I can almost see her smile and hear her say "Shoot!" as I type these words.

Alma and several of our coworkers were on my mind in a previous column entitled What About Venus vs. Venus? when I made the following comments regarding female-to-female relationships in the workplace: "The following year, I began my six and a half-year reign as a bank teller. During this time, I would receive kind and fair treatment by the women working closely with me. Because of the respectfulness shown to me, I still value these people and the experiences I shared with them. Venetians like these are the reason I know that women can work and get along nicely with other women." In another paragraph, I went on to write: "The times when I've found myself in the midst of a supportive group of women, it felt nurturing and almost homelike. Working was pleasant, regardless of salary, company policy, or the pressures of the job."

I attribute a large part of these fond memories to Alma herself, and I hope she knew how much she meant to me personally. Not only did she make me feel good about my work environment, she also encouraged me to write. Back then, I wanted to write a romance novel, and Alma was one of my biggest cheerleaders. She listened as I sounded off ideas about the plot and characters, then she proofed and critiqued some of my earliest drafts. If she grew tired of hearing me talk and write about Ethan and Miranda's budding romance, she never let it show. She simply let me be me.

After I left the bank, we still saw each other occasionally until her retirement. Then I didn't see her for a long time. Luckily, our paths crossed in the parking lot at Lowe's Foods some time ago. We waved at each other, then we hugged. After chatting for about thirty minutes, we hugged again before going our separate ways. I never guessed it would be our final moments together.

Someone once said that every person who enters our life is there for a purpose, usually to teach us something. Alma taught me about the kind of person I'd like to be. Although I know I mess up at times and let other people down, I can almost hear Alma say, "Shoot, Cynthia, you were always good to me. Stop being so hard on yourself."

And in return I'd say, "Thank you, Alma, for being the best kind of friend a girl could hope to find. I know we'll meet again... someday."