Commentaries by Cynthia

Everyday I get hits on this site by people searching under the term Toxic Work Environment. This means there are a lot of people in the world who are feeling victimized while trying to earn a living. I have been there and know how painful, confusing, and helpless a toxic work environment can make you feel. Dirty office politics is usually the culprit, which is fueled by silly human pride, power-plays, and basic greed. Knowing the cause, however, is of little consolation when you’re being backed into a corner by egotistical and uncaring people.

Anyway, I was thinking along these lines one night, and the following column was the end result.

The Power of Gentleness

“You’ve got to take care of yourself,” I hear people say. “Because no one else will.” In this rough and tumble world, we’ve fallen into the trap of believing that, in order to survive, we have to take down others. The “survival of the fittest” mentality might have served humanity well at one time - say, back in caveman days, but is it really necessary in the 21st century?

I’m not referring to wars and other man-made catastrophes. I’m talking very simply about no longer tearing other people down in order to build up one’s own ego or nest egg. I’m talking about no longer treating other people as food or as stepping stones that you walk over on your way to higher ground. I’m talking about sharing the power instead of hoarding it as your own.

Most of us were taught the Golden Rule as children, yet as adults we have strayed from that very sound principle. I’ve even heard folks jokingly say, “Yeah, do unto others before they get a chance to do unto you.” I usually shake my head sadly and walk away. These poor misguided people are part of the problem, not the solution.

It has been said that those who are happy do not go around telling other people that they are happy - they just are. I think the same can be said for those who are truly confident and powerful. They don’t have to stand on a hilltop and pound their on chest like Tarzan, loudly and proudly proclaiming that they are these things - they just are. And since they are, they do not have to tear you, me, or anyone else down in order to prove it.

If you’ve bought into the tough-guy mentality, you probably view displays of gentleness as a weakness when it is actually a very powerful force. It is the gentle word that ends hostilities and bitterness. It is the gentle touch that heals the injured or sick. It is the gentle smile that brightens another person’s day. Often, though, you’ve got to lay down your pride in order to get to your more gentle side, and this is something that some people will never do.

Silly human pride is the cause of so much unnecessary suffering in the world. But sickness, grief, aging, and death are human conditions that will touch us all; regardless of how tough and mighty we might like to appear to others.

If, during your time of need, you’d like to be treated with gentleness and respect, why not reach out and bestow some of that loving-kindness onto others right now? I promise you that the world will not end. Nor will anyone with a shred of common decency laugh at your softer side. In fact, most of us will gladly welcome it over your ferocious chest-pounding any day.