Commentaries by Cynthia

It could have been a dream, or maybe it was something more. I’m not sure that it even matters.

She was in her early thirties, an attractive woman I recognized as my mother. In the dream, I was standing beside her in her bedroom, making up the bed when a wad of money fell from the sheets. The thought then occurred to me that I was in the room where my mother had died, and I no longer wanted to be where that painful event had transpired. The bed suddenly moved out into the hallway, and I was sitting on the edge of it. Mother was standing over me, and she said rather matter-of-factly, “Not everyone can feel the things that you feel.” The wad of money reappeared, and she seemed to hand it to me before disappearing from the dream.

I awoke, as I often do, wondering if I’d again been visited by a deceased loved-one. Then I started to wonder... what did the dream really mean? On some level, I understood what the money meant, as my father and siblings have agreed to pitch in and help me replace the roof on my house that has been leaking for over a year now. Even though it was a humbling experience - asking for help when I’d rather handle things on my own - I understood that holding onto my pride in this case would get me nothing except maybe a case of toxic mold in my house. Still, I felt some reluctance to accept the help that was being offered to me, and I think my mother was reassuring me that it was okay to accept the money for the repairs.

And so now, as I sit at the keyboard, I wonder what mother had meant when she said that I could feel things that others could not. If I had to guess, I’d say that these things are of the spiritual realm.

I feel so much that it sometimes scares me, even as it pulls me into itself and delights me. I feel a pleasure that is so intense it is sometimes painful. I feel a love that is so sweet and tender that it makes me laugh one minute and cry the next. I feel electrical currents that jolt me, causing tingling sensations that cry out: “I’m alive! I’m alive!" I feel my spirit soar into realms of peaceful reverence where all possibilities exist before sailing back to this stark reality known as earth. I feel the ebbs and flows of the Universe, leading and guiding me, only to depart so that I can figure out the deeper meaning myself. I feel waves of confusion and moments of crystal clarity. I feel grace descend upon me with a touch so peaceful, light, and loving that it takes the breath out of my body. I feel a glowing warmth in my chest that grows and grows until it erupts into a ball of love that travels from me into the stars at night.

So, I guess my mother was right - I do feel things that others cannot. This doesn’t make me better than or less than anyone else - it seems to indicate only where I am on this path or journey of life. And spiritually speaking, it is an awesome place to be. I mean... WOW!

But now my earthly reality calls me, and I must shut down this computer and get to work. In closing I have only one thing to add: “Thank you for the recent visit, Mom.”